The Electronics Universe

Having a Bad Day
In a hospital\'s Intensive Care Unit, patients

always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at

about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical

condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even

thought it had something to do

with the supernatural. No one could solve the

mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00

a.m. on; Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was

assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.



The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00

a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited

outside the ward to see for themselves what the

terrible phenom enon was all about. Some were

holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other

holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.


Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson,

the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and

unplugged the life support system so he could use

the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad Day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after

the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was

$80,000.00. At a special

ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals

were being released back into the wild amid cheers

and applause from onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate

them both.


Still think you are having a Bad Day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the

kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing

frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his

waist towards the electric kettle.Intending to

jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked

him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in

two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily
listening tohis Walkman.

STILL think you\'re having a Bad Day?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the

cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn,

Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke

loose and escaped through a broken fence,

stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?? STILL having a Bad Day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn\'t pay

enough postage on a letter bomb. It came

back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and

was blown to bits.

There now, feel better?

Bulls**t and Brilliance

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari inAfrica, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he\'s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old poodle thinks, \'Oh, oh! I\'m in deep doo-doo now!\' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, \'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?\'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. \'Whew!\' says the leopard, \'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!\'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, \'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what\'s going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, \'What am I going to do now?\', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn\'t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says,

\'Where\'s that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don\'t mess with old farts .. age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bulls**t and brilliance only come with age and experience.



I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.



You did notice the size of the print?

Obama The Patriot - Removes American Flag From His Plane

The Patriot Room
Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:11:07 AM by Bill Dupray

Barack Obama recently finished a $500,000 total overhaul of his 757. And as part of the new design, he decided toremove the American flag from the tail... What American running for President of the United States would remove the symbol of his country?And worse, he replaced the flag with it with a symbol of himself...  
 

I can\'t swear by this, but I believe it somehow.  Doesn\'t surprise me a bit.  But I bet he repaints it.   The Flip-Flop man now even wants to drill for oil, like most intelligent citizens, offshore.   Looking for a vote, he will do anything to get one too.

How To Install A Home Security System In The South
================================================== =

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men\'s used size
14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns
and Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don\'t mess with the pit bulls - they attacked
the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don\'t
think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all
the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of \'em in the house.
Better wait outside.

J.J.

Why is the fact that Mr. Obama is only 6.25% African Negro not reported?
Because to acknowledge it is to report this devastating truth about him: Mr. Obama is not legally African-American. It is impossible for him to be, in truth, America\'s first African-American president.
Federal law requires that to claim a minority status, you must be at least 1/8 of the descriptor, but for the sake of this article, I\'ve converted it to a decimal fraction for easier comprehension. You must be at least 12.5% of the racial component you claim for minority status. Mr. Obama, claiming to be African-American, is half the legal threshold.
Again, to let it sink in: Mr. Obama is not legally African-American. It is impossible for him to be, in truth, America\'s first African-American president.
[...]
Mr. Obama is 50% Caucasian, that from his mother. What those who want Mr. Obama to write history by becoming "America\'s first African-American president" ignore is that his father was ethnically Arabic, with only 1 relative ethnically African Negro - a maternal great-grandparent (Sen. Obama\'s great-great grandparent, thus the 6.25% ethnic contribution to the senator\'s ethnic composition).

This means that the media, which has trumpeted his historic candidacy while chiding the campaigns of Clinton and McCain for "playing the race card", has categorized and judged Barack Obama not on the facts of his life, but solely on the color of his skin.
The irony is delicious, and will more than likely be lost on 98% of the American public.
More on Obama\'s heritage:
Here is the truth about Mr. Obama\'s name, and his father\'s ancestors:
True Negro tribal members of western Kenya where his father was born have Christian names, not Arabic. His father\'s decision to name him with an Arabic name is a matter of his father establishing his ethnic identity in Africa - it is done deliberately to separate him from the African tribes. He may live among them, but he is not one of them. His father\'s message is that he is Arabic, not Negro.
Many will find these truths unsettling. I\'m often asked, "But I thought his father was Kenyan. How could Mr. Obama not be African-American, how could his ethnic composition be so Arabic?"
The definitive clue to that answer is to look at his name, his father\'s name, and the names of all his ancestors on his father\'s side. They are all Arabic.
Researching his roots reveal that on his father\'s side, he is descended from Arab slave traders. They operated under an extended grant from Queen Victoria, who gave them the right to continue the slave trade in exchange for helping the British defeat the Madhi Army in southern Sudan and the Upper Nile region. Funny how circular is history; now the British again face the Madhi Army, albeit this time Shiite, not Sunni, as in nineteenth century Sudan.
But telling America\'s black community that while their ancestors were breaking the shackles of slavery, Mr. Obama\'s ancestors were placing those shackles upon their wrists would hardly play as an Oprah Winfrey best-seller.
Being the son of a poor Kenyan goat-herder plays much better than being the son of a highly placed Arab-African who operated at the top of the Kenyan government following his education at Columbia. You see, even the way he portrays his father is a lie.

The story here is not entirely about who or what Obama is, but also about how eagerly Americans, guided by the media, have swallowed the lie. Kenneth Lamb\'s article, excerpted above, was published at his blog in February. Four months later, it\'s made barely a ripple in the public consciousness.
His autobiography is full of "composite characters and other fictionalized elements", which Obama himself admits in the preface to Dreams of My Father - but then he goes out and repeats those fictionalized stories on the campaign trail even after they\'ve been debunked. Not exactly reassuring from a man who\'s running for president.
The facts bring Obama down to the level of a typical, grubbing politician. His life story has been spun for maximum political effect right down to his roots. In that respect, he\'s no different than John McCain, whose capture and time as a P.O.W. has likewise been spun for posterity.
WaPo columnist Richard Cohen closed a piece on Obama with an interesting paragraph:
This tendency to manipulate facts may bear watching in Obama. (After all, we hardly know him.) But while his book is a warning flag, it is also an astounding display of a supple, first-class mind - not merely a bright fellow, but an insightful one, and the single best piece of writing by a politician since John F. Kennedy\'s "Profiles in Courage."

Interesting, because Profiles in Courage was authored by JFK\'s speechwriter, Ted Sorensen.
So what are we left with? Two actors hired for roles in a play, scripted and stage-managed by people unseen, onto whom we project the people we want them to be.
Same as it ever was.

OPEC Sells Oil For $136.00 A Barrel.

OPEC Nation Buys Grain For $7.00 A Bushel.

Solution: Sell Grain For $136.00 Bushel.


Can\'t Buy It?
Tough!
Eat Your Oil!
It Should Go Well With A Nice Thick Grilled Filet Of Camels Ass!!
It Sounds Fair To Me.
What Do You Think?

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, a lovely looking woman became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn\'t.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Irishman who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don\'t even know who you are!"

The Irishman just smiled and said, "Well, lass, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I sort of figured we were friends."