Author Topic: Headlines from the year 2029!  (Read 5493 times)

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Offline crazy

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Headlines from the year 2029!
« on: July 27, 2008, 06:03:04 AM »
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR  2029


 

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,  (formerly known as  California ) . .White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia\'s third language.



Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.



Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.




Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.



Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.




France pleads for global help after being taken over by  Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!



Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.




George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.




Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.




85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.



Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba (Formerly known as Florida).




Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


Abortion clinics now available in every High School in  United States


Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.



Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.



Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.



Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.



New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.



IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.



Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.


Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile.
Peace will not be found at a MidEast table. Peace began at a MidEast STABLE, but everyone seems to deny it.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
Believing in  evolution is like expecting a tornado to go through a junkyard and create a Mercedes Benz on its way out!
If you don\'t stand behind our US troops, then please feel free to stand in front of them. Yea, that\'s what I thought..........